Instructions Before Reading

I stand by the right to publish incomplete snippets. The point of this blog is to share life. If there is a unity in my life, it will become apparent what that unity is. No post is a complete thought, theology, worldview, or poem within itself, it must be taken within the context of the entirety of this blog, considerations of who I am in public as well as who I am in extreme situations like when I am forced to wake up at 4:30 in the morning to help my wife jump start her car in 20 degree weather.

I recognize my right as a flawed human being to do the following: 1) be wrong, 2) change my mind, 3) be inconsistent, 4) have improper grammar and spelling conventions. You are just as flawed, wrong, capricious, and prone to theological alteration as I am... so get over it.

Christ through the Ages

I wonder what it would be like to see history through God's eyes. I'm thinking particularly from Christ till now. What did he think of the church from century to century?

The church at Corinth was filled with all kinds of decadence and yet Paul addresses them as in Christ. He called them babes in Christ but in Christ nonetheless.

Then through the early church age. Who was right? As various 'heresies' arose, were people disqualified from the kingdom because of a different thought process?

Then we delve into the Constantinian change; a muddled mess of religion and polotics. Were there genuine Christians who believed that their role in history was to bring the kingdom literally to earthly power?

Augustine's confessions seem to point to a genuine conversion until we see his orders to slaughter a group of 'heretics.'

The Reformation brings hope until we hear about Luther and Zwingli's persecution of Anabaptists who practice a believers baptism. Lutherans would give Anabaptists their third baptism in a lake with chains tied around their feet.

I could go on and on. I am frankly puzzled. I am also puzzled by an amazing fact. The gospel of Jesus Christ has been preserved through all sorts of heresies and shortcomings, sin and debauchery. No event in history has stamped out the name of Jesus Christ. Now there's providence 2000 years in the making.

Maybe Brennan is on to something.

Do you know my Jesus?

To say my Jesus makes it sound like my perception of who Jesus is. My perception of who Jesus is is small. Reverse the sentence a little bit. When doubting Thomas said "My Lord and my God," he was saying the reverse of that, "The God of me!"

How foolish we are in limiting the power of Christ. Many say, you limit the grace of Christ in forgiving our shortcomings. Oh how true this is, but equally erroneous is limiting the power of Christ to work in us!

I am both a fatalist and an idealist. I am fatalist in the sense that, we will sin, we will make mistakes. I am an idealist that, the one who has His eyes on Jesus Christ will recieve grace to overcome ANYTHING!! Temptation or trial. We have become soft and complacent, we exalt ourselves, excuse ourselves, and we limit God. We make grace cheap. Oh if only I really knew the heart of God, I would be weeping on my face before Him.

So if sin proves the grace of God, do we keep on sinning? Absolutely not! To walk with Jesus is to converse with the amazing power of righteousness that works in us and through us. The power that equips us to live above what we could possibly live under our own power. And yet we never give God the chance to work through us in that way. Before we give Him the chance to give us the grace endure suffering, we pull a gun. Before we follow the difficult commands of his word and give him the chance to give us the grace to follow them, we pick the easy solution. Oh what calloused people we are! Oh what fools and failures. When will we ever trust our God with unwavering faith. When?!

And then as time wraps up; the Father grasps us in His arms. Seeing all described above, and so much more we don't realize, He whispers to our hearts "you are my child, I love you passionately."

May the Love of Jesus Christ drive us to unmeasureable service to our Lord. And may it drive us into the arms of unmeasureable grace. Somewhere along the path, the two meet, and they create the song of the ages, the gospel of Jesus Christ.



If I stand, let me stand on the promise that you will pull me through. And if I can't, let me fall on the grace that first brought me to you.

-Rich Mullins

To be or not to be?

I have run into a lovely little paradigm that has changed almost nothing, and yet everything. Being raised in a lovely Christian home, I always sought to 'do' what Christ asked of me. I wanted to reach a goal, and so I performed the actions necessary. Right doctrine translated into right practice in order to reach the right goal. I wanted to do the right thing, in order to please God. I never did think I could 'earn' my salvation, but I did want to return love shown to me with the actions I performed.



So what's the problem here? It wasn't me. All those actions I performed came from a mental decision to do so. They came as obedience to commands on paper. Then as a friend recently put it "God burnt my house down and started over." I stopped trying to do.



By God's grace I didn't fall off the face of the earth. There were too many people that loved me that I didn't want to dissapoint. I did, however, seem to slack in my actions, what I cared about, what I did. I saw a goal I couldn't accomplish and gave up on it. I just decided to be me. Somewhere along the line of my existance I found me. I also found God waiting there already holding me. What? Holding the uncouth, foul mouthed, uncaring, generally disgusting me? Yep, he had been all along, even while I was off staging another play trying to please Him.



To put it in math terms. Point x = point y (where x=God and y=me). I can't move point y but as x moves in my life, so do I. So now here I am at point y, I want point y to be somewhere farther up the spectrum, but the most important thing is that the equasion works. The most important thing is that point y is where point x is in my life. No matter how I try to thrown in another number, point x will always be found at point y.



If you actually followed that there may be some theological implications that worry you. Don't dig too deep into it. So how does this look in the real world?



The kingdom. The kingdom is lived out, not done. Everything that I do in the kingdom flows out of who the perfect King Jesus Christ is in me. Jason is screwed up, a broken vessel. A broken vessel filled with treasure. The King transforms us, and we live out that transformation. As we become more like Jesus Christ, others see more of Jesus Christ in us.



This is the beautiful message that we have to offer the world. They've seen enough 'perfect people.' What they really need to see is A miserable broken people who are somehow equipped to live above what they possibly could on their own.



I for one am a miserable broken dying person, made alive and beautiful by Jesus Christ. To Him be the glory.



Do all in love to Jesus Christ.

A reminder.

You are beautiful to the Father...



I feel odd.


I admittedly feel a little out of place. I'm finding (not suprisingly) that my views on the kingdom are somewhat..... radical.... Ha I guess that's the point of radical discipleship.

Today someone asked me for my two sentence description of the kingdom, a motto of sorts.

Jesus Christ is King. I am an ambassador of His kingdom to the world.

I doubt that's really profound in any way. It obiously has a lot of implications; but hey, he asked for two sentences.

Another motto I tend to cling to is Do all in love to Jesus Christ. I'm not saying I practice this to perfection, it is the goal, the dream. I want all that I do to flow from my love relationship to Him. I want to see Jesus in others and love Jesus. I want to form my life around Him, I want to hear Him say my name (oh that could be a post in itself).

I have been talking with a High School guy who just had a big break up with his girlfriend. Basically it was a hormonally driven relationship. She got bored, and he got hurt. Basically this has opened Him up to the drastic sacrificial love of Jesus Christ. The one that won't get bored with us. This guy poured his heart into this girl, and she could care less. Jesus poured out a love that He knew would be rejected.

I saw a great example of that kind of love this week. I took a trip with one of the pastors here at Maple City Chapel. We took a vehicle to a single abused mother whose van was kapoot. I asked him how he decided when to give. I loved his response, "People seem to worry about how to avoid getting ripped off. I figure, I'm a pastor I get ripped off every day. I also figure, we rip off God every day. We sin and He extends Grace. So why can't I do that for others?" I like that.

So. Want to know the heart of God. Allow yourself to be ripped off on a daily basis. Give until you can't give anymore... than give. Watch people squander foolishly what you gave them... then give them some more. Seems like a good description of grace.

Do all in love to Jesus Christ

Why does this have to be so ridiculously difficult?


Good gravy, good meat, good Lord, lets eat. Ah yes the topic of prayer. What is it? What is the point? Does it work? James 5:16 says that the prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective. Ok don't start playing games 'am I righteous?' 'am I really saved?' A quick answer is, if you are seeking Jesus Christ (as imperfectly as that may be) prayer is something to be practiced, and I do believe is vastly powerful. But in what way?Ok so it works; but how?
Well frankly I don't know. I've seen some pretty big (and abnormal) answers to prayer in my life. I've also seen a lot of prayers seem to hit the ceiling. Was I doing something wrong? Was I saying things wrong? Was I not humble enough? Did I not spend enough time in prayer about that thing? Once again all questions I don't have complete answers to.
Let me tell you what my prayer life has been like lately. I have been spending more time 'trying' to pray in the last two months than I have ever spent before. Alot of my prayer has been an hour at a time. Now before you think, holy cow that guy is so pious! Don't. Oh if you knew the things I deal with in my heart.Ok moving on. (If you want to talk about all the things I'm doing absolutely WRONG in my life, just ask. Maybe I could do a post on that).
Here's a breakdown of my hour of prayer.1 p.m. - enter into designated prayer area.Turn off the lights, light a candle and try to calm myself down. The candle doesn't make me holier, in fact it just gives enough light to keep me from falling asleep or closing my eyes and letting it wander. Having the lights off keeps me from getting distracted by something in the room. Basically it's just to keep me from going A.D.D. on God.

1:05 p.m. -trying to figure out what to pray. Do I pray for friends, do I confess sin, do I pray for the church. At this point my brain explodes and I tell God this is too confusing.

1:23 p.m. -after tossing around the point of prayer in my mind. "God knows everything, is more powerful, and cares more than I do. Why pray?" I finally just try it out. Kind of like the wanna be rockstar who can't even play a c-chord. It seems embarrasing and awkward. I continue to pluck away at my pathetic c-chord.

1:35 p.m. -about this time I get ridiculously frustrated and maybe even yell at God. I ask him why this has to be so difficult. Why can't He just do all those things I'm praying for, like calling my friends to Him? I mumble around about the point of prayer. I also point out to God that this is boring.

1:37 p.m. -like a small sliver of beaming light something actually reaches my heart. I think of a friend, or a family member, or one of you guys. Maybe it's a country, maybe a missionary. Something actually gets through and I pray as if there's no tomorrow, I get a small glimpse into God's heart and how He feels about the situation, I feel like finally my prayers are getting somewhere. This usually (if it happens at all) lasts for about 35 seconds, and like sucking in helium I try to bleed every ounce of high happy vocalige out of my lungs; but I know it's in vain.

1:45 p.m. -now I'm really getting bored. Today's 35 seconds of prayer was really impacting.... when it happened. Now I feel like I'm in an empty dark room again, just me and that dang candle. I ask God why He has to make this so difficult. I remind Him that I'm bored.

1:50 p.m. -a few more prayers have squeaked out, but nothing that 'feels' like I'm really doing something. I finaly cave and look at the clock on my phone. "Ten minutes left.... close enough." I ask God to forgive my wandering heart and mind and I exit the dark room.

I think for the first time in my life I'm actually praying. God knows our limitations and weaknesses. I may not say much in that hour, but as I just struggle to relate to Him... I'm struggling to relate to Him. That's what He wants, that is the core of prayer: communicating with Him. It's not easy, it's not all that exciting, but it is absolutely vital to growing closer to Him.

Overacceptance, or simply rejection.

I had an interesting conversation today with a young Christian man. The topic of Christian's and government came up (As it commonly does when I'm around.) We have had previous conversations so he has a little bit of an idea of where I'm at. By the end of the conversation he flippantly said. "I just don't think they should take "one nation, under God" out of the pledge of allegiance. Well besides the fact that I don't say the pledge myself, I pointed out that "one nation, under God" wasn't added until 1954. He found that suprising.

After that paragraph, I feel slightly pious and sticky. We'll come back to that.

To come to a belief or set of beliefs is more than just changing a mindset. It is both a mindset and a motive behind it. I can root for Green Bay in the upcoming conference championship game. But why am I rooting for Green Bay? Quite frankly this is against who I inherently am. I was a super huge fan of the 92-93 championship Cowboy teams. I thought Troy Aikman was the quarterback and Emmit Smith the running back. Incidently Green Bay was something of a rival which we (the cowboys and I) frequently smashed. To this day Farve has never beat the boys. I hated when Green Bay won their mid-nineties superbowl championships. And now I am hoping they beat New York? Circumstances can motivate us do lots of crazy things. There are two motives behind my change in loyalties. The first is obviously revenge, if you follow football at all, the Giants ended Dallas' run at the superbowl. The second is a respect for a seasoned Veteran, Bret Farve. I think it would be nice for him to end his long carreer with a ring.

What motivates us to do, think, or be the way we are. Early on in high school I was non-resistant because I was clinging to what my church taught in the midst of a patriotic (as patriotic as Oregon can be) Christian school. I also saw those around me who clung to their specific beliefs, dreading even the possibility that their parents or church could possibly ever be wrong. Oregon threw in a third dynamic of people who were non-resistant but who did so in reaction to the government (if you didn't already know Oregon is hippie central). Then there were the adamately patriotic who did so in reaction to the tree hugging baby killing liberals. If they believe it, it must be wrong. Only two different positions, but a million or so motivations.

My motivation began to shift. My church never really said a whole lot of why they believe in non-resistance. I just knew they did. About my sophomore year, before I had ever read an anabaptist book, before I really heard a lot of why, I began to see something emerge in scripture. The overwhelming love of Jesus Christ. As I followed his life in those pages I began to see his compassion and love for even his persecutors. He began no rebellion, He turned down political power, he practically ignored the world government that had its thumb on Israel. It was almost as if He was acting 'in spite of' the powers that be. I saw a Jesus who said 'love your enemies.' I saw a Jesus who was different than the rest of the world.

My response at this point was, "I'm not really sure why my church believes what it does; but I sure as heck can see why I do." I later found out my church very much felt the same way. It was not my church that formed my views on Christians and world powers, it was the words of Jesus.

Back to the part about feeling pious and sticky. It is easy for me to settle into my "oh this is obviously right, and you're obviously wrong" type of mood. The same Jesus who has called me to love my enemies also calls me to speak the truth in love (easier said than done). Of course the primary mode of preaching is living; but is there place for 'evangelizing the church'? In the end motivation is key (and a constant bane). Why am I arguing against the meshing of the body of Christ and the state? Do I do this because I want to see the kingdom spread, the one that has more power than any nation-state? Or am I simply holding a party-line of my own?

Do all in love to Jesus Christ

God's Harvard. A lesson on the senslessness of Christians and government.

I just finished reading God's Harvard an interesting look into a small fundamentalist/politically minded college near D.C. called Patrick Henry College. The book is written by somewhat nominal Jewish woman named Hanna Rosin. Good writing, 286 pages, worth the read.
Rosin never intended to write an argument for Anabaptist views on Christians and governments; but she did. This book will cause sore neck due to headshaking (caused by mis-belief) at the mess created when these Christians and the world of polotics collide.
Imagine a school made up entirely of homeschoolers. Politically obsessed homeschoolers. "Bush is a perfect Christian" "We need to take America back for God" "Rush Limbaugh is my hero" homeschoolers. These kids were crying and having an emergency prayer session after Jerry Kilgore lost the guvenatorial race in Virginia. During their campaign work with "Generation Joshua" (a group of christian youth who are helping "take back the land"), battle cries are called out "Go for smiles, go for Christ." Thank you Constantine.
I'm frankly not sure that the visibile church will ever return to that pre-Constantinian era. The next two hundred years (provided things don't end before then) I believe will be increasingly difficult for those who know the shepherd. Not because of persecution, but because many who claim to (and I do believe some who do) will shoot the church in the foot by attempting to make a bunch of pagans into perfect Christian people.
Imagine that, a nation of Christians who don't know Christ. In C.S. Lewis book 'The Screwtape Letters' the demon Screwtape points out to his nephew Wormwood that their success is not in making people into miserable heathens, it works a whole lot better to make them moral happy people who get along quite well without God. If that is the case the moral-majority is unwittingly doing the devil's handiwork.
I hope I am not misheard. I don't support abortion. I don't support sin. I also don't expect people who don't know the shepherd to live a moral life. Most who do know the shepherd have difficulty enough already. Live the Kingdom, be Jesus Christ to those around you. Make disciples, not manequins.

An opening note

If you already check out any notes I put up on facebook you may want to save yourself the time and effort of coming to this blogsite. The nature of my writing on here or facebook may differ from time to time but mostly I'll copy and paste.

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