Hello My Name is Jason, I am Addicted to Cynicism.

That title weak. Using an AA staple? Cliche'

That would be my response if I weren't the one who wrote it. Now that I think about it, that was my gut reaction. I tend to be critical.

Classes began at Grace College today. I am currently between classes. Getting ready for another series of skeptical thoughts, looking for the things I disagree with. It's really a depressing way to live. When you look at life with a slanted eye, you will find what you are looking for. In reality everything is tainted, people do say things incorrectly, they will contradict themselves, they will live out their humanity.

I don't want to be an ignorant optimist, but I'm weary of telling people in my imagination that they are wrong. It never really changes anything, and makes it hard to listen to unpolished music (including my own). It does however have its upsides. If I am critical of something, I don't have to involve myself with it. I can feel free to dismiss myself as responsible to interact with it, because it's incorrect. If someone's worldview is tainted, I can dismiss it entirely. If someone is a little 'off', then everything they say is by default incorrect. It really simplifies life. Free's you from committing to anything substantial.

So here's to cynicism. May it die a horrible death.

Conflict is Like Shrapnel

I'm dealing with a bit of conflict right now. Two people that I get along with, are increasingly frustrated with each other. So I thought I would share the things I've learned about conflict.

People often forget why they started fighting. In this case I think the presence of conflict has only created more conflict. They have fought so they fight again. For new reasons for sure, but I have had similar disagreements with each of them and found things going well. Which brings me to my next point.

There must be a foundation of trust before rebuke can be given. I'm sure there are exceptions for this, but I believe that actual trust (not just proclaimed) must be present before deep conflict can be resolved. I had a friend that I fought with for several months in high school, we eventually resolved the conflict, but only because we put up with each other for those several months. We didn't walk away. If the priority is to remain in relationship until the situation is resolved, each side will learn to trust that the other side is not leaving, and not simply trying to get away from the other. At this point vulnerability and reconciliation can begin.

Jesus said that people will know we are his followers by our love for each other, not by our doctrinal purity and 'rightness.' I'm not saying that truth doesn't matter. Jesus is God, and the fact that he died and rose again and is still alive and active is foundational to my faith. But I don't have to change my views, or compromise my faith in order to love someone, and to offer them the hand of friendship. Jesus said that it's easy to love people we agree with and get along with, being a little crazier than that he tells us to love people who drive us batty. My impulses to be deemed 'correct' fade the more my confidence is in Jesus. I know what I believe, I feel at peace with my maker, and he asks me to love my enemies (even doctrinal enemies). I don't need someone I don't like to validate my beliefs. The world has seen plenty of zeal for doctrine by christians, why don't we match it with our zeal for loving others.

The end of conflict almost always ends with each side humbling themselves in some way. Notice I said humbling themselves. We are not God, we cannot humble others in their heart, we can only beat them into submission. As evidenced by every oppressed minority in history, this only builds resentment and hatred, not resolution of conflict. Jesus said "as much as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone." This requires inward change of self, or rather allowing God to change us and trusting him to change others. As long as our talk is about what the other person should be doing, or how they have hurt you, resolution will not be reached. There is a place for venting, but once we let it out we leave it there for the one who sees it all clearly and knows what to do. (Romans 12:19)

Finally, be careful what you say to others about those you are in conflict with. There are dozens of people who I look at differently because of things that people have said about them. I'm sure I have done the same. It is easy to attack people when they aren't present to defend themselves. Just a sentence or two can damage trust between others. Christians really like this. If they aren't present we can frame things in a way that seem spiritual and justified, and we don't come across as mean or spiteful because we qualify it with things like "they are a really nice person, but they just need to _______." There are times to vent frustrations and ask for advice, but be careful with your motives and exactly how much information you need to share. When in doubt keep your mouth shut.

I want to say that all of the thoughts and warnings above are things I continually stumble through. This is as much of a word to me as it is to those around me. How I have handled conflict has been despicable, especially when I claim to follow Jesus, who said "You shall love the Lord your God.. and you shall love your neighbor as yourself. All of the Law and the prophets is summed up in this."

Why Not Sinning Is Not the Point

I've been sick. Sitting on a couch in Oregon when I could be hiking, going to the beach, or just walking around for that matter. Instead I've sat around watching countless hours of the History Channel.

My life hasn't been all that sinful lately in the ways it usually is. I've been too tired and incapacitated.

Incapacitated is a good word.

I was talking to a friend who is going through a lot right now. His sin is weighing on him. Sometimes it gets overwhelming. Sometimes we wonder whether he can ever beat it or not. Sometimes I think that beating it isn't the point.

My friend and I have been in the same place lately. Distant from God. Whether it was by running away or just getting distracted, it has the same result.

I think there are a lot of people who have decided to follow Jesus that are pretty focused on not doing the sinful stuff. I appreciate the passion, but I think a lot of people think of Christians as people who are trying not to do certain things as opposed to being people who are in love with Jesus. There's a fundamental difference.

There are a lot of polite people who are pretty moral. God has worked his character into everyone, so it doesn't surprise me much. But Jesus asks people to follow him, have relationship with him. If God wanted polite, moral people, he would have sent more rules, not his Son.