Did I fail to be Jesus?

I am faced with the aftermath of my actions, both giving and heartless.

When I first saw Fred I realized it was a pretty interesting situation. Not just because his dress was definitely more concerned with comfort than it was with appearance; but because his fingernails were yellow and cracked. The guy was definitely malnourished. I took Fred over to Lux cafe where he ordered as quickly as he could, and got it to go. I took him down to Best Western where the church was going to put him up for the night. We talked a bit here and there but he seemed cold and indifferent... no that's not the right word. I could tell he was deeply hurting, but he tried to hide behind what seemed like indifference. Only when I asked him what he thought about the buggies around Goshen did he seem like more than a shell of a man. He laughed and said it seemed a little back in time. We went to CVS and picked him up some pepto Bismal and Advil.

The next day Fred came by the church again, asking for another night at the hotel. Mel offered him a bus ticket to New York. Strangely he didn't take it. Mel tried to get him to New York; but for whatever reason, he turned it down. He came back again today asking for another night at the hotel.

Long story short we said "too bad buddy, you had your chance." (Not in those words but in the end it's all the same right?) Oh such a wonderful example of Christ I am. I can't say I feel convicted, I just wonder. Mel did offer spiritual help, He said that we are here and available to minister to his spiritual needs. And to an extent we did minister to his physical needs (about $200 worth). I prayed with him and spent a measly $8 on advil and pepto. So now I sit here and wonder if we did enough.

I like how Greg Boyd says it. He talks about service. Showing God's love in little ways, giving of ourselves, bleeding for others; all of these things are not done to create a utopia here on earth, they are done to give a glimpse of something greater that is to come. God has compassion for the hurting, so we should too. Even if we know we're pouring money time and energy into a hole, it shouldn't stop us from doing so.

I'm not sure I have anywhere near a good answer as to whether I gave enough of myself. I guess that's not the point. This just goes to show me that my love is limited, my ability to give is limited; God's is unlimited. He never has said to me "sorry buddy, you had your chance" he gave until it hurt, then He gave more. Maybe, one day I'll get to be just like him.... one day.

A changing love part I: righteousness

I'm talking about love. Crazy love. Not the fuzzy stuff; not the hormonally driven, oh what a babe, shallowed out by hollywood type of love. I'm talking about sweat, blood, and tears; all shed by the alpha and the omega. A drastic love given to the filth of the earth. Humbling.

This drastic love is not simply a source of salvation for an undeserving people, it is an agent of change in their lives. It turns the most drastically miserable people into the bride of Christ, pure and spotless. It makes the vile into blazing images of Jesus Christ; His very hands and feet.

This love tears us apart when we sin. When we are not conformed to the image of Christ, when we spit in his face it only increases our misery as we spit in the face of the very love that we really want. Even as sin is being committed, Jesus voice calls "I love you." It is not a condemning love, it is a genuine real love that longs for intimacy. Our spirit longs for this intimacy. Even as we roll in the filth our heart is torn. Love convicts us. It does not condemn, it convicts. It lets us know we are forsaking the love that has come to us.

All of our existance is fulfilled in this drastic love and when the love is in harmony with life, everything is as it should be. The world can be falling down around us and yet we have peace, because we have everything that we ever needed. The more we realize this love, the more we are satisfied and complete in it's presence, the more powerful the tearing is in our soul when we roll in the filth. That intensity of conviction of sin seems to come in proportion to our understanding of the immense fulfilling love. As we become satisfied, our desire to stay -as well as the desire to avoid what would tear us from that love- is magnified.

Then there is what C.S. Lewis called gift-love. That love that desires to reflect the love the Father gives to us. There is an understanding that the returned love is so insignificant in comparison to what we've been given; but even the chance at giving back something at all excites our heart. It is when we are carrying out gift love that we are walking in perfect harmony with our Jesus. We are giving to Him any scrap that we can find. We walk around the mud puddles with joy, offering it as a gift to him.

It is only when we realize the immense undeterring love of Jesus in our hearts that we move beyond making rules for righteousness and actually have any chance of living righteous lives. It is only once we actually start living righteous lives in love to Jesus (and I'm not saying perfect lives) that real compassion bursts out of us and into the world around us; but we'll save the compassion for next week.

Inneficient Kingdom Part II

Time is very interesting. It is all amazingly valuable; but some time is worth more than others.... to God. We all have our "best time" the part of the day where we are awake, refreshed, ready to go, peaceful and happy. For me, this prime time is probably smack dab in the middle, about 1 or 2. Who gets this time?

I've heard of so many people who got up at the wee hours of the morning to make sure to get in their prayer because it is so drastically important (I respect their discipline); but why not get up at the wee hours of the morning to start work, so you can give the best time in the middle of the day to God? Oops that would be inneficient.

Smack dab in the middle of the day is when all the business happens. We have our meetings, our late lunches, we can't sacrifice that time!

Maybe it's time to stop orienting our prayer life (aka our daily communion with our creator and savior) around the culture's schedule, and start orienting our schedule around our daily communion with our King Jesus.

Yea I know this might hurt business (the economic type); but since when has efficient economic policy been a priority of Jesus?

An Inefficient Kingdom Part I

"Evil looks like business!"

-Mike Yacconnelli

That would be business in terms of time, not corporation. Why is efficiency and productivity equated with Godliness? Why is effective use of our time involvment with consistent committments? Why is business praised as 'hard work,' while leaning on your shovel to talk with someone is deemed 'lazy'?

"If you go along with the culture, the culture will love you. If you hate the culture, the culture may even respect your opinion. If you ignore the culture, it will drive it crazy"

-Brennan Manning (my paraphrase)

Our culture is obsessed with efficiency. We are associational; which basically means we only talk with people because they are associated with our tasks, like saying hi to someone who is serving us our grease pile at Micky D's. I'm sure there has been some study done on which greeting will extract the largest possible number of dead presidents from the sewed cowhide of said customer. Our culture is obsessed with efficiency.

This obsession has permeated the church. Loyalty to the kingdom means being in at the church five times a week. Between church, work, family, more work, play, working to pay for all the toys. Things get hectic. We have no time because we always work, and we have no money because we spend spend spend.

What if we cut spending like there was no tomorrow? Drop the satellite tv, get a car that has lower payments; or dare I say, one that is over five years old. Eat out less, spend less on presents at Christmas. Live within, maybe even below your means. Now there is more money available. Now you don't have to work as much. Now there is more time available. Cut spending, gain time.

Of course there is always the problem of those who can barely put food on the table, let alone cut spending. I believe it is the responsibility of the body of Christ to be able to provide their brother's and sisters a life in which they can give time to be able to live out the kingdom of God. "What? That's communism, they need to be more efficient and work harder." Oh get over your obsession with individualism. We're the body of Christ, not the united organic materials of the Son of God. So what if some parts are dependent on the others for survival. The heart keeps the whole body alive, I never hear it whining to the hand, "Oh geeze maybe you should pump some more blood, and be a responsible individual."Association with the Lamb of God kills autonomy. We are no longer individuals we are a part of the body of the Slain Lamb.

If we are followers of the Christ, members of His kingdom, then "How did Jesus use his time?" is a pertinent question. The ushering in of a kingdom was not a publicized scheduled event. Rather, it seems that Jesus neandered around Israel for three years, talking to whoever would listen. How is that for efficiency? A slower paced life, one that turns down opportunity for advancement for the sake of kingdom availability is counter cultural. One whose heart is fixed on God's is unurried. One who is unhurried by the world around them turns heads.

Trying to get my Jersey Dirty.

I've been tossing around where works fits into things. Seriously why do we do... anything? Why not sin and let grace abound all the more -besides the fact that it seems like a childish approach to begin with-? Then on top of living righteous lives, why reach out, why try to follow a perfect example, what's the point if we're already headed for that big mansion in the sky?

There are all kinds of motivations we could come up with. Mainly I think it's a responsive love. Seriously if someone saved your life wouldn't you want to return the favor. Remember 'Robin Hood Prince of Theives.'? The really lame version where everyone has a british accent except for Kevin Costner. Yea that one. Costner saves this Muslim's life, as a result this guy leaves behind his family -he doesn't even go see them and tell them goodbye- so he can come with Costner and respond to what Costner did for him. (Is Costner supposed to be with a K?). So yea responsive love.

So yea. Responsive love should be numero uno in my opinion; but I think there is room for other secondary motivators that we can use to help bolster our courage as well. Thus I present the following.

The Kingdom of God is like a football team. I remember an analogy that a good friend in Oregon once shared with me. He was born and raised outside of Boston, thus a die hard Celtics, Red Sox, and Pats fan. Well about the time the Pats were eying their first superbowl, Mike was getting somewhat excited. Long story short he joyfully watched the game come to a close with the glee of a five year old with a hundred dollars at Toys R' Us (can that even by a toy anymore). Being the ever watchful thinker that he is, Mike observed something at the end of that game.

When they team held up the trophy you could tell who had done the work. It was a soaked field that day. The team celebrated like they had just won the superbowl... oh wait they did. On the fringes of the celebration mass you could see various football players who weren't quite as excited, and who weren't quite as..... muddy. Those guys knew that yes on some level they contributed throughout the season (unless they were a third string kicker or something), but they also new everyone saw their pristine jerseys. I'm sure they were a little self concious of their unsoiled state.

1 Peter 1 talks of our inheritance incorruptable. Basically, in the end we get the team ring, we won the superbowl. He also talks about jumping for joy while we go through the difficulties of life (the greek refers to it as a puny suspension of eternity), that our faith "...may be found to praise, honor, and glory at the revelation of Jesus Christ." Funny thing is that the praise, glory, and honor isn't necessarily towards God (not that he doesn't get it all in the end anyways).

One day the whistle is gonna blow, those who are on Jesus team win, excellent. There will be some messy people, tattered and muddied by life who left everything on the field. I'm sure there will also be some people who hang around the muddy people enough to get some mud on themselves (not that they really did anything themselves). There will also be those people who know they never even set foot on the field. Yea they won by association and they rejoice; but they are drastically aware that they are as clean as a whistle.

A key difference between Bellicheck's team and God's is that we all have a role, we all have the opportunity to play.... if we choose.

There are a lot of other people around me who are getting their jersey a lot dirtier than mine. They no longer notice the mud or the cold -or so it seems. They press through the pain, the keep reaching for the prize. They inspire me.

Put me in coach!

When Jesus Shows up. Zombies and Little Brats.

Picture Jesus showing up. What would He do? In whatever situation, in whatever location, what does it mean for Jesus to show up? Most have their ideas that include anything from penance and prostration to barking and balling. In many cases there is an expectation for Jesus to validate what is already being done. Shame on us. When Jesus comes, things get turned upside down.

Matthew 21:12-17 gives a picture of what happens when Jesus shows up. It's both scary, and beautiful. Upon arriving at the temple Jesus flips tables and chases people out. Strangely enough these were the people who 'knew' how worship was to be done. They knew the number of doves, the right amount of grain, and what incense to burn; and incidentally they knew how much each one cost. It was worship -and business- as usual. The system was functioning fine. When Jesus showed up, the system was thrown out of the temple as it was cleansed. He called them theives. Imagine that, people using religion to make money.

Part deuce of the story: When Jesus shows up the system gets turned inside out. So about this time you have a whole bunch of venders and money changers fuming outside in the temple court. Meanwhile, the temple is filled with the lame and children. I'm sure to the Pharisees it seemed like a scene out of a zombie flick, with a bunch of lepers and such limping and moaning their way into the temple in order to desecrate it. So the 'system' is now on the porch, and the zombies and little brats (keep in mind children were seen as a nuisance [Matthew 19:13-15]) are running wild in the house. Strange, disturbing, beautiful.

"The church is the place for the weak" -Mike Yaconnelli

Right on Mike. I like to think of it this way: The church is the place where broken sinful people are somehow eqipped to live a righteous life they couldn't possibly live on their own. I guess a comparison would be a man with a broken leg running a marathon; or maybe Jesus doing a three legged marathon with our broken leg tied to his. NIKE!*

It would be ridiculous to say that the zombies and wild brats stayed that way. The lame were healed and the children shouted "Hosannna to the Son of David" Those who come into the kingdom are continually changed. God's love calls to us to enter his courts even as the leperous zombies we are, but He doesn't keep us that way. We leave the building joyfully leaping, calling the lame the poor and even little brats to come to God's house.

A blessing by Larry Hine (forgive me if the spelling on the last name is wrong)

May all your expectations be frustrated
May all your plans be thwarted
May all your desires be withered into nothingness
That you may experience the powerlessness and poverty of a child
And sing and dance in the compassion of God
Who is Father, Son, and Spirit.

May Jesus turn our temple upside down.

The Superbowl and non-resistance

I considered skipping the superbowl. Now I really wish I would have.

Even at halftime I expected Brady to start whipping out 25 and 30 yard passes to push the Pats down for a second, third, and even fourth touchdown. I felt the power I had over pretty much everyone else in the room (who were rooting for the Giants), and I liked it; but I felt the words of Christ calling me to lay it down. I know that sounds like a meager display of piety; but if I can't lay down that opportunity to overpower those around me in such a small situation, how would I lay it down when it came to physical blows.

As the game wound down my motives admittedly turned more towards self preservation in case the Giants got their offense moving. I knew the more I flapped my jaw, the more I would get it back afterwards. Just about the time Manning dodged the sack and launched the completed pass downfield, I knew I was a goner. My brother's and sisters in Christ were out for blood. Mine and Brady's. Unforunately Brady wasn't in the room

I hope I don't seem like I'm demonizing my high school brothers and sisters. I had inward feelings of my own; namely visualizing myself throwing a frisbee accross the room to hit a couple of them in the head.

The second temptation that Satan presented to Jesus shows a laying down of this power. (Matthew 4) Satan took Jesus to Jerusalem to the top of the temple. This was the center of all religious life. I'm not sure what more Satan or Jesus said, but it didn't need to be said. Jesus could probably see the pharisees off to the right under Solomon's porch as he looked over the edge. He could have jumped from the temple and had angels come at a moments notice to catch Him. He could have levitated slowly down to the front of the temple.

Think of the response of the crowds, of the pharisees. Jesus could have silenced them, he could have shown in a drastic miraculous way from the start that He was the messiah. But he laid down the power. At any time Jesus could have silenced their incessant rambling and mockery with a thought, concocting some kind of sign or wonder, but He didn't.

Luke 23:35-37 echos this temptation. "If You are the King of the Jews, save Yourself." The armies of heaven were on standby, ready to relinquish the suffering of their commander. He could have stepped down off that cross and started a revolution in Palestine, working His way to Rome. There he would spread his rule to the very palace of the emperor. Instead, He stayed on the cross and started a revolution in Palestine that worked it's way to Rome. There a man stayed under house arrest spreading the rule of Christ to the very palace of the emperor.

Christ's temptation was much deeper than my petty experience with a super bowl party. My ability to defend myself was limited and the cause was.... stupid. Jesus had every right to defend His honor as King over creation. His ability to defend Himself and even exact his revenge was unlimited (mine was very much dependent on the Pats winning). He could make those who mocked him suffer like no one has ever suffered before; and yet he said "Father forgive them." Even after His resurrection he could have appeard to them and gave the old "nanny nanny na na!" Just to mock them. Instead He silently appeared to some of his closest followers, informing them that they would be treated much the same way that He was. The victory party was private and unpublicised.

There is much temptation in the power we have on a day to day basis. Christ doesn't call us to be powerless, He calls us to use that power for His purposes. Non-resistant love is laying down our ability to harm others, and serving them instead. That is what will turn heads, and hearts to the passionate love of Jesus Christ (whom I recently heard Shance Clayborne refer to as) "The only King who died for his enemies."


Do all in love to Jesus Christ