The fulfillment of our existence is communion with our Creator. All of life flows out of this Father-child relationship. How easily children forget.
Relationship with the Father is difficult. It is hard to chase after a transcendent God. Heck, it's hard enough building relationship with human beings that we can see. How much more difficult is talking to an invisible beyond us yet with us God who often seems eerily silent? Sometimes I feel like Pharisaical rules would be much easier. I guess that's why it's so easy to fall into legalism.
Relationship takes work. I continue to be encouraged to be continued by the heart of Brother Lawrence. He had no drastic theology, no theatrics, just relationship. He had methods in the relationship of course; but they were a means to an end, not the end themselves. I am also encouraged that his continual communion with God took time to develop (once again like human relationships). Getting to know God is just that, getting to know God. It takes time, it grows. Sometimes it takes a lot of time.
Getting to know God is more normal than we want it to be -but not less extraordinary. In its fullest form, the presence of God is not us convulsing on the ground in the face of a beaming light. In the garden, Adam and Eve walked with God in the cool of the evening and talked with Him. We tend to always expect brokenness, always expect overwhelming emotion, always expect a 'blast of the spirit.' These things are a dynamic of our relationship, just as certain times with very close friends are emotional; yet I don't feel that something is wrong in those close friendships if things are just normal at times. Is it blasphemous to say that sometimes relationship with God is just normal life? I really don't have an answer to that one.
It seems much easier to lose contact with God than get in touch with Him. It seems that most days that I actually connect with my Dad I get all excited about his heart and run down some trail of thought or action and pretty soon my attention shifts from His heart to my actions; and I set off on a journey He wants to take me on, without Him. One day I'll learn.
I want to see every moment, every breath through his heart. Any act of compassion, any train of thought, any theological perspective that lacks the life giving blood of Jesus being pumped from the heart of God is a waste of time.
When will the daily and the divine ever collide in my life?
A Lesson from the Early Church
I am doing some research on the early church's interaction with Rome in the 1st through 3rd centuries. Here is an interesting quote I just came across.
"In the cheerless waste of pagan corruption, the small and despised band of Christians was an oasis fresh with life and hope. It was the salt of the earth, and the light of the world. Poor in this world's goods, it bore the imperishable treasures of the kingdom of heaven. Mekk and lowly in heart, it was destined according to the promise of the Lord, without a stroke of the sword, to inherit the earth. In submission it conquered; by suffering and death it won the crown of life."
-Phillip Schaff History of the Christian Church
Interesting that one of the most explosive eras of church growth was epitomized by suffering and service. Reading history on the early church I have seen nothing until Constantine in the way of Christian political maneuvering. It is true that early followers of Jesus didn't have much in the way of options politically; but we also don't hear of any violent or even political action on the part of believers to 'get their rights' or even somehow overthrow or preserve unjust, ungoldy systems. Their ethics, their hope, the kingdom they belonged to, transcended the sea of paganism around them. They did not try to change the culture; they followed Jesus and as a result became a bonfire that continually attracted the attention of even the highest officials.
Mingling the Daily and the Divine.
I find myself synchronizing the transcendent and the trivial. Is any one event, time, or place more sacred than any other? I find myself not necessarily wanting the 'sacred' to become more normal, rather I want the normal to become more sacred. I want to see the God of the universe transcend even the trivial parts of my life. I long for the day when my intense connection with God is not dependent on my context, my disposition, or activities.
The Struggles of a Liturgical Evangelical Anabaptist
Spontenaity, originality, off the cuff, progressive, driving, contemporary. I have found myself struggling to be in churches that are either 'contemporary' or trying to be 'contemporary'. I feel that the greater part of the evangelical service is like a tv commercial, get in as many different spiritual feelings flashed in front of us as we can in thirty seconds, then move on to something new. The entertainment factor is so frustrating to me. It seems that the current evangelical church is somewhat ignorant of the past 2000 years of worship. As those before us have nothing valuable or applicable to this decade.
In the last few years I have discovered what is simple, what is thoughtful, what is deep, is what rejuvenates me. Saying the Creeds reduces the complexity of religion into simple powerful truths. Reciting the Lord's prayer brings a wholistic picture as to God's desire for my life. The structure of a call to worship followed by confession, an assurance that we are forgiven, response to that in worship (whether hymn, reading, or contemporary worship song, or maybe just spoken words) and exaltation of the glorious Father who loves us and is the center of our existance.
I realize much of this desire is shaped by my personality. I don't think the liturgical structure is the absolute only way to worship; but I do feel like much of contemporary worship is fast paced, entertaining, largely emotionally driven, and hectic.
I think I'm going to try and find an evening service with something liturgical.
In the last few years I have discovered what is simple, what is thoughtful, what is deep, is what rejuvenates me. Saying the Creeds reduces the complexity of religion into simple powerful truths. Reciting the Lord's prayer brings a wholistic picture as to God's desire for my life. The structure of a call to worship followed by confession, an assurance that we are forgiven, response to that in worship (whether hymn, reading, or contemporary worship song, or maybe just spoken words) and exaltation of the glorious Father who loves us and is the center of our existance.
I realize much of this desire is shaped by my personality. I don't think the liturgical structure is the absolute only way to worship; but I do feel like much of contemporary worship is fast paced, entertaining, largely emotionally driven, and hectic.
I think I'm going to try and find an evening service with something liturgical.
Practicing Practicing the Presence of God.
I have an utterly amazing job. I work on a dairy farm. I spread hay, I scoop poop, I spread poop, I milk cows, I herd cows around. It's great pay, and I get a home made lunch.
In the style of Brother Lawrence I have tried to make my place of employment a sacred space. As I spread bedding hay I just commune with my Father, talking here and there, offering praise, praying for those I knew. In the area where the cows are milked -I can't remember the terminology for it. I just started work I'm not exactly a professional dairy farmer- the radio was on and I sang songs to my Father. The moment actually seemed more worshipful and sacred there in that milking parlor -that's the word- than it many times does during a church service. Those stone walls and milking tubes became my sanctuary.
Connection with God has always been on the forefront of my mind; but it often seems that 'getting through' each moment with God was the goal; as opposed to spending each moment with Him. What happened in the milk parlor yesterday was an immensly small understanding in my heart that each moment was not something to be 'getting through' with God. Each moment is within itself a moment to abide in the presence of God. Each speck of time, no matter what the circumstances, is a speck of time that is sacred and beautiful; a moment whose purpose is to commune with the Father.
"We ought to give ourselves up to God with regard both to things temporal and spiritual and seek our satisfaction only in the fulfilling of His will. Whether God led us by suffering or by consolation all would be equal to a soul truly resigned."
-Brother Lawrence
In the style of Brother Lawrence I have tried to make my place of employment a sacred space. As I spread bedding hay I just commune with my Father, talking here and there, offering praise, praying for those I knew. In the area where the cows are milked -I can't remember the terminology for it. I just started work I'm not exactly a professional dairy farmer- the radio was on and I sang songs to my Father. The moment actually seemed more worshipful and sacred there in that milking parlor -that's the word- than it many times does during a church service. Those stone walls and milking tubes became my sanctuary.
Connection with God has always been on the forefront of my mind; but it often seems that 'getting through' each moment with God was the goal; as opposed to spending each moment with Him. What happened in the milk parlor yesterday was an immensly small understanding in my heart that each moment was not something to be 'getting through' with God. Each moment is within itself a moment to abide in the presence of God. Each speck of time, no matter what the circumstances, is a speck of time that is sacred and beautiful; a moment whose purpose is to commune with the Father.
"We ought to give ourselves up to God with regard both to things temporal and spiritual and seek our satisfaction only in the fulfilling of His will. Whether God led us by suffering or by consolation all would be equal to a soul truly resigned."
-Brother Lawrence
Should I expect anything different?
I was scanning radio stations on my drive through Goshen a couple days ago. A radio station rush hour talk show was commenting on the whole Govenor Spitzer fiasco. I must say I was sort of, but not really shocked. The summary of their commentary was: "If Spitzer's wife wasn't freaky enough for him in bed then I can understand why he hired a hooker." They continued to go on about how you need to make sure and have a wife who was as equally freaky (or prude) as yourself so that you can be happy in marriage.
Now before you call up James Dobson to get some legislation passed on what people can say about marriage, I ask the question: Should I expect anything different from a world without Jesus Christ? I've noticed the Christian response to conversations like that is usually disgust at how anyone could think in such a distorted way. Admittedly that was my first response. My second response -or should I say the second response which was incited by conviction- was one of disgust.... with me. Of course what they are saying is twisted, of course it's off base, of course that's a pretty screwed up litmus test for a good wife; but how should they know any different?
Paul tells us not to walk in gratifying lustful desires as we did in our 'former ignorance' (I Peter 1:14). That implies that though we are now in Christ, we were at one point (as many still are) in ignorance. These shock jocks are in ignorance (in my opinion, obviously).
To bring it back to Dobson. What is our obsession with making ignorant people act like Christians? What if the Moral Majority passed every little law they wanted to? What if this really became a "Christian Nation" what if marriage were preserved (at least on paper) and homosexuality was illegal? What if porn industries were shut down and bars were closed (not that alchohol in itself is sin to begin with)? Well, we would probably have a nation full of ignorant 'moral' people. People with all the trappings of your typical evangelical, minus a significant relationship with Jesus. I guess if that's the aim we're setting a good example.
Down to a personal level. My disgust with myself came as I listened to the radio because I realized I was investing time feeling disdain for people I should be praying for. Why am I expecting people to be 'moral' when they don't know the one who is the source of morals? Did Jesus even do this? I understand he spoke truth, he told the Samaritan woman to go and sin no more and in forgiving other people's sins he was mentioning the fact that they were sinful; but I can't think of a time where he told somone to change their life without first coming to Him. He said, follow me. He gave a description of what it meant to follow him; he made that pretty clear. He spoke the message, he lived the message, he made clear the benefits and consequences (benefits and consequences of following, consequences of not following); but he left it to the individual to decide whether or not to follow that standard, that lifestyle. Meanwhile his heart burned with compassion as he saw his people marring themselves with sin. There is a drastic difference between my disgust and Jesus Compassion.
Ok maybe I shouldn't hammer Dobson, the guy has a lot of amazing insights to families and child development. All I'm trying to say is that our role in spreading the kingdom is not done by force. We show people there IS a better way to live, and at times we point out that the way the world does things is destructive. Our mission is not to change people, that's God's job. Ours is to show them that there is hope, that there is one who can change them and save them from what they were ignorant of.
Now before you call up James Dobson to get some legislation passed on what people can say about marriage, I ask the question: Should I expect anything different from a world without Jesus Christ? I've noticed the Christian response to conversations like that is usually disgust at how anyone could think in such a distorted way. Admittedly that was my first response. My second response -or should I say the second response which was incited by conviction- was one of disgust.... with me. Of course what they are saying is twisted, of course it's off base, of course that's a pretty screwed up litmus test for a good wife; but how should they know any different?
Paul tells us not to walk in gratifying lustful desires as we did in our 'former ignorance' (I Peter 1:14). That implies that though we are now in Christ, we were at one point (as many still are) in ignorance. These shock jocks are in ignorance (in my opinion, obviously).
To bring it back to Dobson. What is our obsession with making ignorant people act like Christians? What if the Moral Majority passed every little law they wanted to? What if this really became a "Christian Nation" what if marriage were preserved (at least on paper) and homosexuality was illegal? What if porn industries were shut down and bars were closed (not that alchohol in itself is sin to begin with)? Well, we would probably have a nation full of ignorant 'moral' people. People with all the trappings of your typical evangelical, minus a significant relationship with Jesus. I guess if that's the aim we're setting a good example.
Down to a personal level. My disgust with myself came as I listened to the radio because I realized I was investing time feeling disdain for people I should be praying for. Why am I expecting people to be 'moral' when they don't know the one who is the source of morals? Did Jesus even do this? I understand he spoke truth, he told the Samaritan woman to go and sin no more and in forgiving other people's sins he was mentioning the fact that they were sinful; but I can't think of a time where he told somone to change their life without first coming to Him. He said, follow me. He gave a description of what it meant to follow him; he made that pretty clear. He spoke the message, he lived the message, he made clear the benefits and consequences (benefits and consequences of following, consequences of not following); but he left it to the individual to decide whether or not to follow that standard, that lifestyle. Meanwhile his heart burned with compassion as he saw his people marring themselves with sin. There is a drastic difference between my disgust and Jesus Compassion.
Ok maybe I shouldn't hammer Dobson, the guy has a lot of amazing insights to families and child development. All I'm trying to say is that our role in spreading the kingdom is not done by force. We show people there IS a better way to live, and at times we point out that the way the world does things is destructive. Our mission is not to change people, that's God's job. Ours is to show them that there is hope, that there is one who can change them and save them from what they were ignorant of.
God is just teaching me to be grateful for what I have.
I just got back to Goshen from Daviess County Indiana. Driving 300 miles -partway through an ice storm- gave plenty of time to talk with my passenger.
Ruben popped into the church a few weeks ago. He wanted help. An hour later we were back at his barren apartment with some groceries where I met his wife and kid. He didn't have a job, he didn't have a car, he didn't even have a phone. So even if he walked five miles and applied for a job, he would have no way of being reached by someone so he knew he had the job. My schedule is pretty flexible so the next day we went job hunting. I asked him if he wanted to come to church that Sunday. He said yes; but when the time came to pick him up he didn't answer the door.
Fast forward -then back again- to last Monday. Ruben called the church, after about five minutes of weeping he finally blurted out his situation. The family was gone. His wife and kids had moved back down to southern Indiana. He asked me to call back in an hour.
When I called back all he asked for is that I would pray for him. So I spit out some feeble words into his immense pit of pain. I asked how I could reach him again. He didn't know, he was being evicted out of his apartment that next day.
About 9:30am on Tuesday Ruben calls again. He asked if I knew of any place that needed work. I didn't. I told him he could at least come hang out at the church to stay out of the cold.
I think I'm getting sidetracked. Long story short, Ruben and I are driving towards southern Indiana. He doesn't know where he can stay, where he will work, he spent his last dollar on a pepsi and some ciggarettes at a gas station. I'm thinking about calling Phillip Morris and having them get him an apartment. All Ruben knows is that he has a responsibility to his family, and he has to provide for his wife, and be there for his kid.
About 60% of our conversation was awkward and surface. I'm freaking out because all I'm doing is driving this guy 300 miles just to drop him off on the street. What do I do? What do I say to him? God picked quite the time to seem distant. So much for spirit filled ministry.
Somewhere near the Indianapolis Beltway Ruben breaks loose. All kinds of thoughts about what the purpose of life was. He asked me what I thought it took to be succesful in life. He shared his heart about God being compassionate (even though he was broke, homeless, and seperated from his family) he let me know he was scared but that he was ready to live on the street if he had to. He kept saying, "I don't understand it but I don't have to. God understands his plans, that's what counts." This man puts the church to shame in devotion to his wife and kid, his trust in God is crazy, he is both realistic and optimistic. Thank you Ruben.
Tuesday evening we got to Odon, IN. He said "You know I think God is teaching me to be grateful for the things I do have. While life was good I took all those things for granted." The man praised God in the midst of his hell. The man stared into the face of despair, and praised God. I feel ridiculously full of crap for the pathetic things I've complained about in my life.
Ruben is now reunited with his wife. They have a week's worth of shelter, thanks to a kindhearted pastor from Odon. He applied for several service sector jobs and has a couple pastoral contacts in Jasper. Oh by the way Jasper doesn't have homeless shelters because the mayor thought it would make things look trashy. Yay for the ever compassionate world powers. In a week Ruben may be on the street. I doubt a week is enough to find a job (let alone get a paycheck to pay continued rent). A prayer for Ruben, Venessa, and Anita would be appropriate here.
There were about fifty different places I wanted to go with this and I don't think I went to any of them, or maybe I went to all of them. Maybe a summary of what I learned would be helpful.
From the situation:
Being Jesus to other people is frustrating, tiring, expensive, and painful (I slipped on ice). All around difficult.
True Compassion is not so easily satisfied. Although I felt slightly better knowing that we had done something to help, my heart still ached, Ruben has a long way to go.
From Ruben:
Life will be difficult. We don't have the 'right' to any kind of hapiness in this life. God equips us to have a good life with whatever it is we are given. (Paul said "I have learned in all situations to be content).
Real praise is not fluffy clouds and puppy dogs. Real praise is declaration of who God is in ALL circumstances. Even if He himself sends us through hell for his purposes. What if God made your life on this earth ridiculously painful? Would you still praise Him? (see the book of Job)
Ruben saw this as a test of his faith, not a punishment. This was a chance for his faith to be shown genuine. (see the book of James).
My kingdom for some better writing skills... I'm just going to end without a solid conclusion.
Do all in love to Jesus Christ
Ruben popped into the church a few weeks ago. He wanted help. An hour later we were back at his barren apartment with some groceries where I met his wife and kid. He didn't have a job, he didn't have a car, he didn't even have a phone. So even if he walked five miles and applied for a job, he would have no way of being reached by someone so he knew he had the job. My schedule is pretty flexible so the next day we went job hunting. I asked him if he wanted to come to church that Sunday. He said yes; but when the time came to pick him up he didn't answer the door.
Fast forward -then back again- to last Monday. Ruben called the church, after about five minutes of weeping he finally blurted out his situation. The family was gone. His wife and kids had moved back down to southern Indiana. He asked me to call back in an hour.
When I called back all he asked for is that I would pray for him. So I spit out some feeble words into his immense pit of pain. I asked how I could reach him again. He didn't know, he was being evicted out of his apartment that next day.
About 9:30am on Tuesday Ruben calls again. He asked if I knew of any place that needed work. I didn't. I told him he could at least come hang out at the church to stay out of the cold.
I think I'm getting sidetracked. Long story short, Ruben and I are driving towards southern Indiana. He doesn't know where he can stay, where he will work, he spent his last dollar on a pepsi and some ciggarettes at a gas station. I'm thinking about calling Phillip Morris and having them get him an apartment. All Ruben knows is that he has a responsibility to his family, and he has to provide for his wife, and be there for his kid.
About 60% of our conversation was awkward and surface. I'm freaking out because all I'm doing is driving this guy 300 miles just to drop him off on the street. What do I do? What do I say to him? God picked quite the time to seem distant. So much for spirit filled ministry.
Somewhere near the Indianapolis Beltway Ruben breaks loose. All kinds of thoughts about what the purpose of life was. He asked me what I thought it took to be succesful in life. He shared his heart about God being compassionate (even though he was broke, homeless, and seperated from his family) he let me know he was scared but that he was ready to live on the street if he had to. He kept saying, "I don't understand it but I don't have to. God understands his plans, that's what counts." This man puts the church to shame in devotion to his wife and kid, his trust in God is crazy, he is both realistic and optimistic. Thank you Ruben.
Tuesday evening we got to Odon, IN. He said "You know I think God is teaching me to be grateful for the things I do have. While life was good I took all those things for granted." The man praised God in the midst of his hell. The man stared into the face of despair, and praised God. I feel ridiculously full of crap for the pathetic things I've complained about in my life.
Ruben is now reunited with his wife. They have a week's worth of shelter, thanks to a kindhearted pastor from Odon. He applied for several service sector jobs and has a couple pastoral contacts in Jasper. Oh by the way Jasper doesn't have homeless shelters because the mayor thought it would make things look trashy. Yay for the ever compassionate world powers. In a week Ruben may be on the street. I doubt a week is enough to find a job (let alone get a paycheck to pay continued rent). A prayer for Ruben, Venessa, and Anita would be appropriate here.
There were about fifty different places I wanted to go with this and I don't think I went to any of them, or maybe I went to all of them. Maybe a summary of what I learned would be helpful.
From the situation:
Being Jesus to other people is frustrating, tiring, expensive, and painful (I slipped on ice). All around difficult.
True Compassion is not so easily satisfied. Although I felt slightly better knowing that we had done something to help, my heart still ached, Ruben has a long way to go.
From Ruben:
Life will be difficult. We don't have the 'right' to any kind of hapiness in this life. God equips us to have a good life with whatever it is we are given. (Paul said "I have learned in all situations to be content).
Real praise is not fluffy clouds and puppy dogs. Real praise is declaration of who God is in ALL circumstances. Even if He himself sends us through hell for his purposes. What if God made your life on this earth ridiculously painful? Would you still praise Him? (see the book of Job)
Ruben saw this as a test of his faith, not a punishment. This was a chance for his faith to be shown genuine. (see the book of James).
My kingdom for some better writing skills... I'm just going to end without a solid conclusion.
Do all in love to Jesus Christ
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)