Like that time I had a crush on the baby sitter and tried to beat my brothers at hide and seek. At the time I was operating under the assumption that girls fifteen years older than me find this attractive. I don't try it anymore only because I'm married, and because I am twenty five. Hide and seek doesn't appeal to cougars like Corvette's do. So... I did successfully out-hide my brothers, and even threw in some extra hiding after I had already won. I was feeling pretty good about my romantic prospects with the babysitter until I needed to pass gas. It turns out I had diarrhea. If it weren't for that digestive issue I would probably be married to that woman. I suppose it's for the best.
People tend to take issues like that and use them to figure out why people are the way they are. I see some balding guy with scholar's glasses on the end of his nose saying, "Hm, that situation probably produced competency issues around women." Yea maybe, I do still shit myself from time to time when Courtney and I are having an argument, but in the end, as traumatic as that situation was, it was one experience that lasted about thirty minutes.
I used to have this idea that God changing my heart revolved entirely around major life events where he shows up and does something significant and amazing, which he has done by the way. I think this drives our desire to create that 'special moment' or make something spectacular or huge happen at every Bible study, prayer time, or scrap booking party.
I'm learning that much of who we are is formed in all those moments we don't give much credence to, all those little adjustments that God makes before driving things home in our heart. Which makes me ask, what am I doing with all those little moments?
It's easy to give into the minute rice version of following Jesus. Instant results that come out of some event we just show up for once in a while. But walking with Jesus is much more like cooking rice out of a fifteen pound bag; you have to boil the water, put rice in for fifteen minutes, let it simmer for fifteen minutes, then let it set on your plate for five more minutes so it's cool enough to eat; and usually you cook it a minute long or a minute short and its either soggy or crunchy.
What I'm trying to say is that I've seen people who go through a lot of 'revivals' and in the long run whether or not they look like Jesus depends a lot more on what happens in between those times, when very few people are watching, when there isn't some cool Christian band to get us excited about God.
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