The Problem with 'Fixing' Problems.

I've been reading a lot of Flannery O'connor lately. I particularly enjoy her characters who are stories within themselves. There is the Bible salesman Manly Pointer who steals Hulga the angry atheist's prosthetic leg, the chubby girl who leaps across the table to strangle the subtly racist Mrs. Turpin, whispering in her ear, "Go back to hell where you came from you old warthog!", and even a 'Misfit' who kills the overly nostalgic, paranoid, and self-centered grandma. Flannery's characters are hardly neutral, but rarely contrived; there is something about them that rings very true in us.

Yesterday I found myself in one of Flannery's characters: Sheppard, a single father and psychiatrist who tries to 'fix' people. The problem is, Sheppard tries to fix actions and behavior, rather than work to heal the heart. In the process he simply tries to conform people to his own image. 

The problem with fixing isn't new to me. My wife often reminds me she wants me to listen rather than fix it. I've tried (rather unsuccessfully) to be more careful about not telling other people what they should do. What is new to me is what I realized about Sheppard's (and my own) attempts to fix people, it flows out of a desire to control others and thus my environment. If people are more like me, I don't have to try so hard to love them, because their doing what I want them to. Often, in group discussion I steer conversation toward a topic I'm more comfortable with. Or if someone has some differing theology, I try to steer them toward my perspective so I can feel more at home.

The healthy version of the fixer, is the healer. The tragedy in the story of Sheppard is that he never really listened to the heart of his son. When his son, looking through a telescope, insisted that he saw his dead mother waving at them, Sheppard tried to fix the behavior instead of dealing with the issues in his son's heart. He later returned to the attic to find his son hanging from the rafters.

Being a healer isn't as fun. It means listening to people when we think they're crazy, or stupid, or irrational, because often when people say something angry, bitter, or frustrated, their communicating something deeper, something that needs to be drawn out and listened to. Fixing the 'problem' only closes up a wound, leaving the bullet inside.

Also, read some Flannery O'connor; it's fantastic stuff.