Instructions Before Reading

I stand by the right to publish incomplete snippets. The point of this blog is to share life. If there is a unity in my life, it will become apparent what that unity is. No post is a complete thought, theology, worldview, or poem within itself, it must be taken within the context of the entirety of this blog, considerations of who I am in public as well as who I am in extreme situations like when I am forced to wake up at 4:30 in the morning to help my wife jump start her car in 20 degree weather.

I recognize my right as a flawed human being to do the following: 1) be wrong, 2) change my mind, 3) be inconsistent, 4) have improper grammar and spelling conventions. You are just as flawed, wrong, capricious, and prone to theological alteration as I am... so get over it.

All The Reasons I Have to Pass Out.

Bearing the emotional intensity of a situation is not typically North American. I want to medicate my stress, numb my pain, and pretend everything will be, or just is ok. If your goal is to live life fully, this does not help much.

I am often afraid, in this case afraid of a paper that is due next week. On a larger scale I'm afraid of failure -that somehow I'm not good enough, or smart enough.

There are a lot of ways to medicate things: food, sex, mindless entertainment, good company and casual conversations, but none of them actually take care of things

A friend of mine told me recently that he is trying to feel the full force of loneliness, or failure, or whatever negative emotion he is feeling. I've been inspired, and it sucks. At least its real. It takes a lot more courage to face things as they are. Ultimately it leads me to dependence on God.

I think people who make it through their lives without some sort of major meltdown are those who have found a lot of ways to medicate themselves until they die.

Random snippets I know. I'll allow you to arrange it in your own mind.


Currently afraid of failure and horrendous grammar,

Jason
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