Happy New Year... But For Who?

This is supposed to be a time of celebration... I feel sick. Not literally, in my heart.

I'm in Wyoming recieving the hospitality of people I've never met before. I'm finishing day two of a four day journey from Albany, Oregon to Goshen, Indiana. Happy New years to me. I'll be asleep by the time 2009 passes over my head.

So why do I feel sick? 

I asked God for compassion today.

My love is so small, my compassion so petty. 

There was a party tonight somewhere in the world, someone was not invited to that party. It wasn't that that someone was forgotten, it was just agreed upon that he wouldn't be invited. He's socially awkward. A nuisance. Difficult to be around. He might be interested in dating one of the normal single girls. 

I felt compassion for him and called him. He was just leaving some church thing at 11. 

"Where you goin now Travis? Gonna stay up for New Years?"

"Yea I might stay up. I'm gonna go home."

"No big party somewhere?" I'm hoping he doesn't ask if anything is going on. Though I'm in Wyoming and can plead ignorance... which would be a lie.

"Na, I guess  not."

By this time I decide since I'm on a back road I've never been on before at 9:30 with 40mph gusts pushing my car everywhere, I should probably go.

Travis reminds me that God will take care of me in the wind. He made all the stars and named them after all.

I understand compassion a bit better tonight, but it's surrounded by a mess of my bitterness towards those who knowingly let Travis stay home alone tonight. It's got this element of self-righteousness that makes me want to think that I'm doing better than them by calling him. I can honestly say I called him out of pure compassion, it was just all the after the call stuff that got.... disgusting. 

So which is worse. My lack of compassion or theirs... I don't think there's a difference. Lack of compassion is lack of compassion. Jesus doesn't ask me to have compassion on just a certain demographic, He calls me to have complete compassion. Jesus was called the Son of Compassion. 

This little post describes a stew of human selfishness. Mine. Others'.  Father teach us to have unbridled compassion, not just on those who we feel deserve it. Sometimes its easier to have compassion on the opressed rather than the opressor; but I have played the role of opressor many times before... many times before. You had compassion on me... teach me to extend that compassion to others.

Thoughts from Philippians 2

Do not look out for your own interests, but also for the interests of others.

Consider one another as more important than yourself.

Have this attitude in yourself which was also in Christ Jesus. The one who left perfect social interaction and comfort to come live with dysfunctional, awkward, selfish people. (My paraphrase of course).

Father give us compassion.

Dying to be Known.

I spent the last few minutes with a man who is dying to be known. Unfortunately very few seem to care enough to listen long enough. The guy has some problems with telling the truth. He tells people what they want to hear, whether it's about himself, or life in general. We did a little exercise in truth. I asked him to either tell me the truth or tell me that he doesn't want to answer the question. Thinking to my own struggles I asked "Do you feel like you have to prove yourself?"

"Yes"

"Do you feel like no matter how much you try to prove yourself, you can't do good enough? And in the end you are dying for them to know who you really are?"

In a much quieter tone "Yes"

Our failure to be transparent is killing ourselves and those around us. If you are frustrated with someone, and tired of them, take time to really listen. Keep digging. Fight to get to their heart, deep on the inside they are begging for it. Sometimes very deep on the inside.

The Heart of the Cross

This is my sermon for the coming sunday, I would appreciate any feedback, posative or negative. Negative feedback is helpful to make changes so please leave any negative feedback you have whatever it is (even if it's grammer or spelling or structure). Let me know what you think. And sorry I copied and pasted so the verses came out a little wierd. I'm too lazy to fix them at this point... or ever.


Greg Boyd said “How might our churches be different if we took Paul’s teaching seriously? What would happen if the ultimate criteria we used to assess how “successful” or “unsuccessful” our churches were was the question, are we loving as Jesus loved? The truth of the matter is that we are only carrying out God’s will and expanding the kingdom of God to the extent that we answer that question affirmatively. No other question, criteria, or agenda can have any meaning for kingdom-of-God devotees except insofar as it helps us respond to that question.”

Section I: A call to Crossbearing.

As we move through this series we’re going to be building around Mark 8:34 where Jesus said “If anyone desires to come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me.”
Mark 8:34 is obviously smack dab in the middle of a bunch of other verses so it’s probably a good idea to figure out why he is saying this. The ever astute Peter actually incited this response from Jesus. Jesus was telling his disciples that he would suffer and be killed by the powers that be when Peter pulled him aside and let him know he might want to tone it down a bit. Jesus response is swift. "Get behind me Satan! For you are not mindful of the things of God, but of the things of men."
He then gets the disciples and the crowd together and lays out something that I don’t tend to think much about. The cost of following Jesus. The call to carry my cross. The call to love like Jesus loved.

Section II: Voluntary and Involuntary Trials

I’m not sure where I got the idea but I always assumed that Jesus was just talking about going through difficult times in life and dealing with sin, and maybe once in a while feeling uncomfortable because other people are sinning around me. The problem is Jesus seems to be presenting an opportunity to voluntarily pick up something that is difficult. Bearing my cross is not so much being strong when difficult things happen to me, if you want to talk about that go to the book of James where he talks about enduring various trials. No this is talking about picking up a way of life, a path, in which I am knowingly placing myself in the way of difficulty. That way of life is answering that question "Am I loving as Jesus loved?"

Section III: The heart of the cross is compassion.

Compassion has driven the redemptive works of God from the beginning. The love and compassion burning in the heart of God is evident throughout the Old Testament.

Zech 10:6
"I will strengthen the house of Judah, And I will save the house of Joseph, And I will bring them back, Because I have had compassion on them; And they will be as though I had not rejected them, For I am the LORD their God and I will answer them.

Micah 7:18-19
18Who is a God like You, who pardons iniquity And passes over the rebellious act of the remnant of His possession? He does not retain His anger forever, Because He delights in unchanging love. 19He will again have compassion on us; He will tread our iniquities under foot Yes, You will cast all their sins Into the depths of the sea.
Lam. 3:19-23
19Remember my affliction and my wandering, the wormwood and bitterness. 20Surely my soul remembers And is bowed down within me. 21This I recall to my mind, Therefore I have hope. 22The LORD'S loving kindnesses indeed never cease, For His compassions never fail. 23They are new every morning; Great is Your faithfulness. 24"The LORD is my portion," says my soul, "Therefore I have hope in Him."

God’s compassion did not stop with the prophets. For 400 years after the closing words of Malachi, God was silent. Then redemptive compassion burst onto the scene when John announced "Behold the Lamb of God who takes away the sin of the world."
In Mark 1:40 Jesus, the lamb of God, the one called the Son of Compassion, encounters suffering in the form of a leper. The Holy and pure runs into the unclean and despicable.

Mark 1:40-41
40A man with leprosy came to him and begged him on his knees, "If you are willing, you can make me clean." Filled with compassion, Jesus reached out his hand and touched the man. "I am willing," he said. "Be clean!" Immediately the leprosy left him and he was cured.


This is God incarnate. This is the creator of the universe, the very God who acted on behalf of the entire nation of Israel, who continually had compassion on them. That unending compassion that ripped dramatic holes throughout history moved within the gut of Jesus. The word here for compassion is splugnetzomai which means the gut. We talk about love and compassion and even anger coming from the heart. In Jesus time they talked about it from the gut, the place where you feel it. The gut of almighty God, all his compassion was moved, and the creator of the universe touched a leper, the one who was untouchable, unlovable, avoided. Jesus had compassion and touched him. Had Jesus only put his arm around him and never even healed Him, this story would not cease to be one of the most significant events in History.
This compassion, this love, this is what drove Jesus to touch the leper. This is what drove Jesus to take up his cross. Jesus is what happens when the compassionate heart of God encounters a wicked suffering world. Jesus death is what happens when the compassionate heart of God encounters a wicked suffering world. The heart of the cross is nothing less than the compassionate heart of God for a suffering people. To take up the cross is to take up the compassionate heart of God in a suffering world.

Section IV: Jesus, the perfect picture of compassion.
I want to take a look at what the rest of Jesus life looked like. He was after all knowingly bearing his cross long before he was hung on it. Basically I want to know: if Jesus showed up here in Goshen, would I see him in the places and with the people I’m with, or would he have to come to me and get my attention so we could get to work? Preparing for this part of the sermon has been admittedly disheartening. I honestly have to answer that if he showed up today, he would be taking me to a lot of places to meet a lot of people and to do a lot of things I’m not even thinking about doing right now.
I went through the book of Matthew with three highlighters. Every time Jesus interacted or mentioned someone who was generally despised, poor, or considered sub standard by the general audience I used a blue marker. Every time it was the disciples or just a random crowd I used orange. Every time it was someone well to do, well liked, rich, religious person I used pink.
For the most part there was a good mix of each color; but a few things popped out to me. There were twice as many blue highlights as there were pink and orange. Roughly 30 references are made to Jesus interacting with or talking about the dregs of society and offering them immense compassion and hope. There are about 15 references to Jesus talking with the disciples and the crowds teaching them about the kingdom and calling them to kingdom work. There are also about 15 encounters with the well to do and religious leaders, in most instances he pretty much ripped them apart.
If my life were summarized like Matthew and I took a highlighter to it I imagine it would be mostly orange. Of course there would be some blue, maybe one or two times in my life where I actually gave myself and my compassion; but most the time I have put my arm around the physically suffering with a ten foot pole. And any pink would be brief encounters with the powerful and rich who I cater to and am impressed by.
If Jesus showed up here in Elkhart County. I’m sure I’d run into him. He’d probably come here to the church. I really do think he would, he’d teach us about the kingdom we would all worship the Father together; but then he’d get us all on the bus and head somewhere downtown to find some alcoholics and homeless, we’d probably stop by a burnt out neighborhood to play with some kids who didn’t have clean clothes, or dads for that matter. I’m sure there would be some big time TV preachers who would come to interview him and get frustrated when he put a baby with a poopy diaper on their Armani suited laps. If he stayed around for a while and worked at Schmidt furniture barn he’d be a pretty hard worker. He'd work with Joy, and over lunch he would get discussions going and start talking with his coworkers about all the things their hearts really wanted to talk about. He’d give his money to groups like the window, but he’d also come and hang out with the people over breakfast and invite them over for dinner that night. After all he did say “If you have a party, don’t invite those who can repay you, but invite those who can’t, this is true hospitality.” At the end of the day as we ate with our new friends that we met at the window His relentless gentle furious compassion would mingle with his words of truth and reveal more than just our immorality, but also our complacency, our gluttony, our greed. He would have us both crying because of our unfaithfulness but laughing joyfully because of His. We would be exhausted because the day was long and the work was hard, it is after all difficult to love people; but I think we would feel more purpose, more life, more joy, than we ever thought possible. If Jesus showed up here in Elkhart County.
My faith has become clean and pious. Jesus is messy. Soon before his death he cleansed the temple for the second time, flipping tables, chasing animals. And as they all left, the sick, the lepers, and children flooded the temple and praised God. To the people looking on, Jesus turned everything upside down.
This vision of what it would look like if Jesus showed up. I struggle. I do believe that in some sense this pattern of life is picking up my cross: laying down my daily rights, laying down my finances, having the compassionate heart of God in a world that suffers. At this point this is still a dream. The best way I can describe it to you is this: I am alive in Christ, He loves me immensely and his grace cleanses me from sin. I am alive but I am also sick. I have accustomed myself to my personal comforts and I have separated myself from the suffering of a dark world. I have ignored the starving, and suffering even in my own town. I am alive; but I can’t keep comforting myself with that thought. I am grateful to be alive, but I still must do something about my sickness. This world seems overwhelming but my purpose is simplified. Love like Jesus loved. That is the challenge. That is the goal. After all, when we love the down and out, the hurting, the starving, the dreggs of society, we love Jesus Christ himself. We are having compassion for the one who had so much compassion for us.

Matthew 25:31ff
31"When the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, he will sit on his throne in heavenly glory. 32All the nations will be gathered before him, and he will separate the people one from another as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats. 33He will put the sheep on his right and the goats on his left.
34"Then the King will say to those on his right, 'Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. 35For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, 36I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.'
37"Then the righteous will answer him, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? 38When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? 39When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?'
40"The King will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.'
41"Then he will say to those on his left, 'Depart from me, you who are cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels. 42For I was hungry and you gave me nothing to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me nothing to drink, 43I was a stranger and you did not invite me in, I needed clothes and you did not clothe me, I was sick and in prison and you did not look after me.'
44"They also will answer, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or needing clothes or sick or in prison, and did not help you?'
45"He will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me.'

Dreaming Together.

Shane Claiborne said "The kingdom of God takes imagination." I have been blessed to be surrounded by dreamers. People who see no limits on the kingdom bring me joy. They help me to dream as well. When I'm around them I think that maybe, just maybe, I'm not crazy. They make me think that radical discipleship among the common man is more than possible. If it isn't, I'm screwed. I never thought I'd find dreamers here in Goshen.

We Are Rich

Half the world — nearly three billion people — live on less than two dollars a day.

More than 80 percent of the world’s population lives in countries where income differentials are widening.

The poorest 40 percent of the world’s population accounts for 5 percent of global income. The richest 20 percent accounts for three-quarters of world income.

Around 27-28 percent of all children in developing countries are estimated to be underweight or stunted. The two regions that account for the bulk of the deficit are South Asia and sub-Saharan Africa.

If current trends continue, the Millennium Development Goals target of halving the proportion of underweight children will be missed by 30 million children, largely because of slow progress in Southern Asia and sub-Saharan Africa.

Based on enrolment data, about 72 million children of primary school age in the developing world were not in school in 2005; 57 per cent of them were girls. And these are regarded as optimisitic numbers.

Nearly a billion people entered the 21st century unable to read a book or sign their names.
Less than one per cent of what the world spent every year on weapons was needed to put every child into school by the year 2000 and yet it didn’t happen.

Infectious diseases continue to blight the lives of the poor across the world. An estimated 40 million people are living with HIV/AIDS, with 3 million deaths in 2004. Every year there are 350–500 million cases of malaria, with 1 million fatalities: Africa accounts for 90 percent of malarial deaths and African children account for over 80 percent of malaria victims worldwide.

According to UNICEF, 26,500-30,000 children die each day due to poverty. And they “die quietly in some of the poorest villages on earth, far removed from the scrutiny and the conscience of the world. Being meek and weak in life makes these dying multitudes even more invisible in death.”

(information taken directly from http://www.globalissues.org/TradeRelated/Facts.asp)

It's not that we don't care; it's that we don't see, and so we don't do. Only when issues become faces are our hearts filled with compassion.

The above photo is of a Sudanese Child crawling towards a refugee camp. He was only a mile away. The photographer did nothing to help the child. Overrun with remorse he killed himself two months later.

Jesus have mercy on us not only for the things we have done, but also for the things we haven't done.

Should I expect anything different?

I was scanning radio stations on my drive through Goshen a couple days ago. A radio station rush hour talk show was commenting on the whole Govenor Spitzer fiasco. I must say I was sort of, but not really shocked. The summary of their commentary was: "If Spitzer's wife wasn't freaky enough for him in bed then I can understand why he hired a hooker." They continued to go on about how you need to make sure and have a wife who was as equally freaky (or prude) as yourself so that you can be happy in marriage.

Now before you call up James Dobson to get some legislation passed on what people can say about marriage, I ask the question: Should I expect anything different from a world without Jesus Christ? I've noticed the Christian response to conversations like that is usually disgust at how anyone could think in such a distorted way. Admittedly that was my first response. My second response -or should I say the second response which was incited by conviction- was one of disgust.... with me. Of course what they are saying is twisted, of course it's off base, of course that's a pretty screwed up litmus test for a good wife; but how should they know any different?

Paul tells us not to walk in gratifying lustful desires as we did in our 'former ignorance' (I Peter 1:14). That implies that though we are now in Christ, we were at one point (as many still are) in ignorance. These shock jocks are in ignorance (in my opinion, obviously).

To bring it back to Dobson. What is our obsession with making ignorant people act like Christians? What if the Moral Majority passed every little law they wanted to? What if this really became a "Christian Nation" what if marriage were preserved (at least on paper) and homosexuality was illegal? What if porn industries were shut down and bars were closed (not that alchohol in itself is sin to begin with)? Well, we would probably have a nation full of ignorant 'moral' people. People with all the trappings of your typical evangelical, minus a significant relationship with Jesus. I guess if that's the aim we're setting a good example.

Down to a personal level. My disgust with myself came as I listened to the radio because I realized I was investing time feeling disdain for people I should be praying for. Why am I expecting people to be 'moral' when they don't know the one who is the source of morals? Did Jesus even do this? I understand he spoke truth, he told the Samaritan woman to go and sin no more and in forgiving other people's sins he was mentioning the fact that they were sinful; but I can't think of a time where he told somone to change their life without first coming to Him. He said, follow me. He gave a description of what it meant to follow him; he made that pretty clear. He spoke the message, he lived the message, he made clear the benefits and consequences (benefits and consequences of following, consequences of not following); but he left it to the individual to decide whether or not to follow that standard, that lifestyle. Meanwhile his heart burned with compassion as he saw his people marring themselves with sin. There is a drastic difference between my disgust and Jesus Compassion.

Ok maybe I shouldn't hammer Dobson, the guy has a lot of amazing insights to families and child development. All I'm trying to say is that our role in spreading the kingdom is not done by force. We show people there IS a better way to live, and at times we point out that the way the world does things is destructive. Our mission is not to change people, that's God's job. Ours is to show them that there is hope, that there is one who can change them and save them from what they were ignorant of.

Did I fail to be Jesus?

I am faced with the aftermath of my actions, both giving and heartless.

When I first saw Fred I realized it was a pretty interesting situation. Not just because his dress was definitely more concerned with comfort than it was with appearance; but because his fingernails were yellow and cracked. The guy was definitely malnourished. I took Fred over to Lux cafe where he ordered as quickly as he could, and got it to go. I took him down to Best Western where the church was going to put him up for the night. We talked a bit here and there but he seemed cold and indifferent... no that's not the right word. I could tell he was deeply hurting, but he tried to hide behind what seemed like indifference. Only when I asked him what he thought about the buggies around Goshen did he seem like more than a shell of a man. He laughed and said it seemed a little back in time. We went to CVS and picked him up some pepto Bismal and Advil.

The next day Fred came by the church again, asking for another night at the hotel. Mel offered him a bus ticket to New York. Strangely he didn't take it. Mel tried to get him to New York; but for whatever reason, he turned it down. He came back again today asking for another night at the hotel.

Long story short we said "too bad buddy, you had your chance." (Not in those words but in the end it's all the same right?) Oh such a wonderful example of Christ I am. I can't say I feel convicted, I just wonder. Mel did offer spiritual help, He said that we are here and available to minister to his spiritual needs. And to an extent we did minister to his physical needs (about $200 worth). I prayed with him and spent a measly $8 on advil and pepto. So now I sit here and wonder if we did enough.

I like how Greg Boyd says it. He talks about service. Showing God's love in little ways, giving of ourselves, bleeding for others; all of these things are not done to create a utopia here on earth, they are done to give a glimpse of something greater that is to come. God has compassion for the hurting, so we should too. Even if we know we're pouring money time and energy into a hole, it shouldn't stop us from doing so.

I'm not sure I have anywhere near a good answer as to whether I gave enough of myself. I guess that's not the point. This just goes to show me that my love is limited, my ability to give is limited; God's is unlimited. He never has said to me "sorry buddy, you had your chance" he gave until it hurt, then He gave more. Maybe, one day I'll get to be just like him.... one day.