I am faced with the aftermath of my actions, both giving and heartless.
When I first saw Fred I realized it was a pretty interesting situation. Not just because his dress was definitely more concerned with comfort than it was with appearance; but because his fingernails were yellow and cracked. The guy was definitely malnourished. I took Fred over to Lux cafe where he ordered as quickly as he could, and got it to go. I took him down to Best Western where the church was going to put him up for the night. We talked a bit here and there but he seemed cold and indifferent... no that's not the right word. I could tell he was deeply hurting, but he tried to hide behind what seemed like indifference. Only when I asked him what he thought about the buggies around Goshen did he seem like more than a shell of a man. He laughed and said it seemed a little back in time. We went to CVS and picked him up some pepto Bismal and Advil.
The next day Fred came by the church again, asking for another night at the hotel. Mel offered him a bus ticket to New York. Strangely he didn't take it. Mel tried to get him to New York; but for whatever reason, he turned it down. He came back again today asking for another night at the hotel.
Long story short we said "too bad buddy, you had your chance." (Not in those words but in the end it's all the same right?) Oh such a wonderful example of Christ I am. I can't say I feel convicted, I just wonder. Mel did offer spiritual help, He said that we are here and available to minister to his spiritual needs. And to an extent we did minister to his physical needs (about $200 worth). I prayed with him and spent a measly $8 on advil and pepto. So now I sit here and wonder if we did enough.
I like how Greg Boyd says it. He talks about service. Showing God's love in little ways, giving of ourselves, bleeding for others; all of these things are not done to create a utopia here on earth, they are done to give a glimpse of something greater that is to come. God has compassion for the hurting, so we should too. Even if we know we're pouring money time and energy into a hole, it shouldn't stop us from doing so.
I'm not sure I have anywhere near a good answer as to whether I gave enough of myself. I guess that's not the point. This just goes to show me that my love is limited, my ability to give is limited; God's is unlimited. He never has said to me "sorry buddy, you had your chance" he gave until it hurt, then He gave more. Maybe, one day I'll get to be just like him.... one day.
When I first saw Fred I realized it was a pretty interesting situation. Not just because his dress was definitely more concerned with comfort than it was with appearance; but because his fingernails were yellow and cracked. The guy was definitely malnourished. I took Fred over to Lux cafe where he ordered as quickly as he could, and got it to go. I took him down to Best Western where the church was going to put him up for the night. We talked a bit here and there but he seemed cold and indifferent... no that's not the right word. I could tell he was deeply hurting, but he tried to hide behind what seemed like indifference. Only when I asked him what he thought about the buggies around Goshen did he seem like more than a shell of a man. He laughed and said it seemed a little back in time. We went to CVS and picked him up some pepto Bismal and Advil.
The next day Fred came by the church again, asking for another night at the hotel. Mel offered him a bus ticket to New York. Strangely he didn't take it. Mel tried to get him to New York; but for whatever reason, he turned it down. He came back again today asking for another night at the hotel.
Long story short we said "too bad buddy, you had your chance." (Not in those words but in the end it's all the same right?) Oh such a wonderful example of Christ I am. I can't say I feel convicted, I just wonder. Mel did offer spiritual help, He said that we are here and available to minister to his spiritual needs. And to an extent we did minister to his physical needs (about $200 worth). I prayed with him and spent a measly $8 on advil and pepto. So now I sit here and wonder if we did enough.
I like how Greg Boyd says it. He talks about service. Showing God's love in little ways, giving of ourselves, bleeding for others; all of these things are not done to create a utopia here on earth, they are done to give a glimpse of something greater that is to come. God has compassion for the hurting, so we should too. Even if we know we're pouring money time and energy into a hole, it shouldn't stop us from doing so.
I'm not sure I have anywhere near a good answer as to whether I gave enough of myself. I guess that's not the point. This just goes to show me that my love is limited, my ability to give is limited; God's is unlimited. He never has said to me "sorry buddy, you had your chance" he gave until it hurt, then He gave more. Maybe, one day I'll get to be just like him.... one day.
1 comment:
I know where your coming from Jason
I've been struggling with the same thing up here. There are so many needy people. Sometimes it's hard to know who to help and how much to help
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